Hi Olimoo,
I would ask to have him assessed by a pysch.
Not speaking from experience but I completed a course in integration and one of the lengthier subjects was ODD.
It needs to be diagnosed correctly as I am sure you are aware, but we were advised it is most common in boys and generally the father will carry traits of this disorder.
It can be present in conjuction with other things such as ADD, so I would definately seek a referral.
Hugs for you though, it has obviously been difficult for you. Maybe wait to do the parenting program after he has been assessed properly - you may find that you are doing things right now and may just need to tweak a few things here and there.
He's a lucky boy having such caring parents, I know we were informed how many children get left behind or moved on because they are difficult and dont learn how to control themselves so end up with anger management problems etc.
All the best, hope you let us know how you go with everything
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