BG - I've been feeling the same thing as you have -
people need to stop making things *always* about themselves for a moment.
I have said this to my father, mother (especially in relation to IVF and my wedding) and explained the concept of it to other people, and it resonates with everyone I have spoken to.
I think it's probably the simplest, least insulting (or intepreted as insulting) and most resonant way you can tell someone that their behaviour is affecting you.
BW, I think BG is spot on - you should find a way simply to tell your family as softly and gently as you can that it's not about them.
This whole process is not all about themselves and then nick off somewhere quiet with
DH, no mobile reception just as Jennifer says. Look after yourselves, go somewhere where it is easier to forget about them for a few days, and where the guilt of actually doing the right thing for you first rather than them doesn't reach so far. Remind them when they get back, don't make it all about themselves again. Ask them to let it go for your sake.
Hope you're recovering ok, and please try not to let the whole family thing affect you and stress you too much, as hard as I know that is. You need the most stress-free environment possible to recover properly - perhaps you can tell your families that too....
Miss C